


Aware

by batmaaan



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batmaaan/pseuds/batmaaan
Summary: "It's the last time, I promise." But it's always the last time.





	Aware

**Author's Note:**

> no spoilers for Luciel's route cause I haven't even played it yet. minor spoiler for a phone call with Luciel during Jumin's route. 
> 
> oh I've changed how long routes take. instead of 11 days it's longer.

Luciel always knows when it’s about to happen. He's learn to spot the subtle changes in her behaviour - it fills him with dread. She stays home more; daily trips to the bookstore and late afternoon jogs traded for hours stretched out on the couch. She talks more, meaningless chatter that soothes him - she never expects an answer, just wants to fill their home with something other than the sound of the keys on his keyboard. Not that she minds it, she'd told him once that the sound comforted her.

The days drag on. His dread grows. Luciel knows for certain now that she's going to leave. He woke before her that morning but didn't move. She'd been sitting up, phone in her lap, a look of guilt shadowing her face. His heart had given a painful lurch.

He sits at his computer. The clock reads 3:30pm. He can hear her laughing in the living room, and the sounds of their cat’s paws thumping across the carpet. Luciel smiles. He won't press her to tell him that she's leaving, she'll tell him when she's ready. For now he's more than pleased to just wait. Getting up from the computer he crosses the room and peeks out, quietly as to not interrupt them. She's kneeling on the carpet tossing a ball at the cat. It's an old, cantankerous cat; a stray lovingly called Honey Buddha. But it loves her more than anything, purrs ridiculously loud when it's curled up on her lap.

The next day she sits him down on the couch, wraps herself around him, and tells him that she's leaving. “ _There's something I need to do, something new. It won't take very long. It's the last time, I promise_.” But it's always the last time. Still, he doesn't complain or beg her to stay because she's her own person and he understands that she needs to do these things. So he takes her face in his hands and presses his lips to hers. It will be a while before he can do that again.

She presses the button on her phone and the world resets.

Luciel wakes up in his bed and rolls to reach for her, finding only empty, cold space. He never resets. He never forgets. But the rest of the world does. The house is quiet. Honey Buddha isn't crying for attention because he isn't there: he's gone. Her warmth has faded from his life once again. Now he has to watch her love another.

To pass the time he throws himself into work, ignoring the world. But he can't ignore her forever. It's almost like he's scripted to act happy when she first appears in the chat. God, it _stings_ when she doesn't remember him. Does she not? Or is she pretending? Sometimes when he calls her, as is required of him, Luciel thinks she might remember. When she jokes with him, when she flirts a little.

It's Jumin’s turn this time. Her bias is obvious.

Late at night, when he lays in their bed alone in the pressing silence, he questions whether remembering is worth it - worth the pain and the heart ache. Every bit of her has faded from their home. The photos, the plants, the cushions she decorated the couch with. They're all gone. So why doesn't he get to forget? Why does he have to remember what she feels like in his arms when someone else has that honour now? Perhaps the world has decided to hate him.

Luciel presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. He hates watching her love someone else. But, in the end, it's worth it. Loving her is worth it. He smiles. Yes, loving her is worth everything. There is nothing in the world that can compare to how he feels when she tells him she loves him. It lights him up from the inside out.

He still works more than he should, but he doesn't ignore the world. Luciel watches over her, protects her. He's her knight. It's his duty.

11:27am, two months after she left. He's feeling awfully lonely, and vulnerable. It happens sometimes. The world feels so heavy on his shoulders. In the midst of his grief he hears his phone ring. Expecting work he snaps an arm out to grab it, only to see her name show up. Maybe he shouldn't answer like this. The yearning to hear her voice wins over. Everything bubbles over at the sound of “ _hello_ ”.

Awful sobs turn to twisted laughter. “But you don't care about me…”

“ _Seven._.?”

Don't call me that, he wants to say, that's not what you call me. Instead what comes out is, “you only care about Jumin. I am nothing.”

Luciel hopes she doesn't remember them. It would break her heart to know he felt like this. He babbles something about crumbs, laughs more, then hangs up when he can't deal with it anymore. He feels so bad. He shouldn't say those things to her. But it is the truth, it's how he feels. Luciel wonders how many more times he'll have to go through this. It's getting harder and harder. Will the time come when he simply can't do it anymore?

Will there come a time when she doesn't come back?

He grabs his head and knocks it lightly against his desk.

Why would she come back?

Jumin is the man every woman wants. He's rich, successful, handsome. If she stayed with him her life would be wonderful, and filled with everything she could ever want. Luciel wrinkles his nose, mad at himself for thinking so little of her. She doesn't fall in love with money or looks. She falls for him because she loves him.

Another month crawls by. The party nears and Luciel wonders if he will even attend this time. Sometimes he goes, sometimes he makes an excuse and doesn't. Seeing her with another might ruin him this time. He went when she loved Yoosung and nearly ripped a hole in a tablecloth when Yoosung had kissed her. Luciel had wanted to scream from the rooftops that she was his and his only, but she wasn't his property. She was his because she wanted to be his, and that's all that truly matters.

He doesn't go.

He stays in bed, wallowing.

Out of the corner of his eye he spies a little potted plant on her bedside table. Luciel spills out of bed so quick the sheets tangle around his ankles. Gingerly he reaches out, afraid it will vanish, and touches the ceramic of the pot. It stays. It's solid. The little plant is a small flower, soft pink. There's a knock at the door. He practically runs through the house, throwing open the door so roughly it bangs against the wall.

She's there, hair a little messy, wearing her favourite baggy jumper, Honey Buddha snuggled comfortably in her arms. How she manages to find him and bring him back every time Luciel will never know. In that moment he doesn't care. His hand wraps around her shoulder and pulls her against him in an embrace that would be crushing if it wasn't for the complaining cat caught between them. She laughs, high and happy, and Luciel almost melts. God, he’s missed her.

He doesn't know he's crying till her thumb wipes the tears away. “Luciel?”

Luciel decides he's going to be selfish for once. “Don't go,” he sniffles. “No more.”

“No more,” she agrees. “I'm here for good.”

Honey Buddha wriggles free, and Luciel pulls her closer. “I love you,” he mumbles into her shoulder.

“I love you too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: http://dropthenoot.tumblr.com


End file.
